It’s booked from 6pm to 1am. Here’s an itinerary:
6pm – Eleanor starts drinking.
7pm – Eleanor’s eye-make-up runs.
8pm – Eleanor starts dancing. Eleanor thinks she knows all the dance moves to Thriller. Oh no, Eleanor doesn’t.
9pm – Eleanor stops dancing. Changes shoes. And starts dancing again.
10pm – Eleanor probably thinks Tequila is a good idea.
11pm – Eleanor throws herself on the floor (starfish style) and has a tantrum. Everyone looks a bit embarrassed for her.
12 pm- Eleanor picks herself up and starts all over again. The beardy men are back.
1 am – Eleanor cries because all her friends are going home, but she still has time to give each and everyone one of them a big sloppy kiss, grab their arm, drool and snot down their sleeve and tell them that they’re like family to her… It’s a heartwarming, if slightly awkward moment. It could (just) go unnoticed, but then she falls to the floor, grabs hold of their ankles and starts tugging on them. Don’t go, don’t go. Don’t leave me. You’re all the same. Fuckers.


Best birthday invite I’ve had in a long time

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